The post below is for 18+ audiences only
Male Review
Lillian Grant
Sam Stephens and Meg Riley are in love, and finally on the cusp of sex anytime, anywhere, anyhow. That is until Meg’s Great Aunt Maud, the octogenarian nymphomaniac, gets tossed out of the old folk’s home and moves in with them, closely followed by her polar opposite, Meg’s scarily frigid mother.
When Meg’s best friend Laura convinces Aunt Maud to invest in Male Review, a BDSM themed male strip joint, it seems to be just one more step along the path to madness. Laura’s last venture ended with Meg being arrested as a pimp. When former prostitute Michael is hired as the bar manager the whole thing is surely destined for disaster. He’s to blame for the crazies invading Meg’s home and even worse, he still has the hots for her.
If she wants to get her life back all Meg needs to do is find a new home for Maud, resolve the dispute between her warring parents, keep Michael at arm’s length and rescue her relationship with Sam before it disintegrates completely. Male Review appears to be just one more problem to deal with, but perhaps it could provide an unexpected solution.
Meg rolled her eyes as a loud snort rent the air. She lifted her head, smashed a fist into her pillow, and glared at the comatose old woman lying next to her. This wasn’t how things were supposed to work out. Once Sam declared his undying love for her they should have ridden off into the sunset together. Instead, they jumped into her compact Korean car and hustled around to the old folk’s home to meet her mother.
Clearly it wasn’t her fault that St. Andrew’s had tossed Aunt Maud out. The whole disaster had been down to Laura and her stupid idea to start a male escort business. Meg went to the hotel to try and fix things. Given a few more minutes she would have un-cuffed Michael Monaghan from the bed and persuaded Aunt Maud elderly ladies had no need to use the services of a male prostitute. She might even have recovered Michael’s clothes so he could get dressed. Thank God her mother arrived at the old people’s home after the police left and she never got the whole story behind Maud’s eviction. Although, having her mother yell and show disappointment in her debauched daughter might have been a quicker and less painful punishment than agreeing to let Aunt Maud move in with her and Sam until she found a new home. To date, every old people’s home in Sydney, Australia had turned the crazy old lady away.
Meg’s mind turned to her new beau. They’d been on the cusp of sex any which way, anywhere, any time, and then, when Aunt Maud showed up, the sex fest was over. She couldn’t sleep in his bed because Maud would know what they were doing and Meg would be horribly embarrassed. How was he coping? Sam had needs. Big needs. Often needs. She hadn’t heard yips of “yee-haw” coming from his room since Aunt Maud moved in a month ago, so either he was suffering from a case of blue balls, or he’d learned to jack off quietly. The thought of him lying in his reclining chair naked with his fist wrapped around his hard, hot, heaving cock sent a heat wave through her body and a definite dampening in areas that had no business being damp when you shared a bed with your eighty-something great aunt.
Another loud snarl made Meg sigh loudly and check her alarm clock. She hadn’t planned on getting up until after eight as, on top of everything else, she didn’t have a job to go to, but sleep was impossible. Maybe an early morning snack would help. Yes, she was on a diet, but everyone knew calories consumed before seven in the morning didn’t count. Besides, she might check out the gym where Sam worked later, purely for exercise purposes. The thought of Sam and exercise wouldn’t cool her down, but Ben & Jerry were more than up to the job.
She climbed out of bed and dragged on her robe. One last look at Sleeping Beauty, sans teeth and wig, assured her Maud was dead to the world and she should get going while the getting was good. The door squeaked on its hinges, but Aunt Maud continued to saw logs. Meg pulled the bedroom door closed behind her and relaxed. In the last thirty days the only time she’d been without Maud was when either of them went to the bathroom. Except the hour she left her with Sam while she went to buy groceries. That hadn’t ended so well. She’d found Sam’s whimpering and begging never to be left alone with Maud again quite disturbing. The old girl seemed to think men were game for sex twenty-four seven, and Sam usually was, but not with octogenarians who had a penchant for pinching butts and ripping towels off freshly showered men.
Meg crept down the hall, through the living room, and into the kitchen. The place shone. No one would fault Maud on her work ethic. She had cracked the whip for hours, only stopping her nagging when Meg had cleaned every surface until they could eat off it. So, she was a bit slap dash about housework, and Sam was no better, but who cared. Now the place didn’t feel like home at all.
After retrieving a large spoon from the cutlery drawer, Meg opened the freezer and bent over to find her favorite flavor made by her favorite men. Just as she reached inside to pull out a tub of Chunky Monkey, two hands splayed across her back and something rigid buried itself in her arse crack.
She’d recognize Sam’s particular brand of foreplay anywhere. He had a thing about bending her over and taking her from behind, but she wasn’t so hot on the idea with her head buried in the freezer and Maud likely to walk in at any moment. The old lady would never believe she had a platonic relationship with Sam if she found him buried up to his testicles inside Meg. Once her mother found out she had taken up sleeping with her male flat mate Meg would be moved into a nunnery, or Sam tossed out on his ear before either of them had a chance to explain. Her mother didn’t do sex, and neither did the rest of the family, if she had anything to say about it.
*
God, Meg was beautiful. How she could think otherwise escaped him. The sight of her abundant curves sent Sam’s already thumping pulse rate higher. Unable to believe his luck at finding her alone, and in such a seductive pose, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her still bent form. He slipped his hands inside the front of her robe. The fingers of his left hand edged inside her panties on a seek-and-plunder mission between her thighs, while he used his right hand to tweak her left nipple into surrender.
Maud was a pain in the arse. All his good work at not only finally seducing Meg, but getting her to lose her inhibitions, was coming unraveled. He missed her. His cock missed her. The bed felt empty when she wasn’t in it. Never before had he felt this way about a woman, but Meg was the one. He’d fallen hopelessly and passionately in love with her and he wanted to show her … hard and often.
Heat spread through his body. Oh, she felt so good. He fingered the dampness between her thighs and brushed his thumb over her nipple. Her breast was heavy in his hand. Her womanly curves sent a rush of desire straight to his already straining dick. She was his perfect wet dream. Warm, soft, and the girl had a mouth to die for, but that could wait for next time. He had no idea when he would get another opportunity like this. He growled in her ear and tugged her robe up the back of her legs, desperate to bury himself inside her.
“Sam. Stop!”
She wriggled out of his grasp and he groaned his disappointment. His stallion bucked at the gate waiting for the starter’s orders. The feisty bugger would put an eye out if it broke free of his very tight white boxer briefs.
He took a deep breath. “I’m dying here.”
Meg glanced at his bulging erection.
“We can’t. Maud might come through.”
Sam growled, “Fuck Maud.”
A giggle escaped Meg. “I’m sure she’d be a more than willing partner and at least you could get some relief.” She popped the top off the ice cream and filled the spoon. Maybe she hoped the cool dessert would bring them both back to their senses. She offered him the first taste. “Here, have some ice cream instead.”
He took the spoon from her and slipped it seductively between his lips then pulled it back out and slowly licked the remaining dessert from the stainless steel surface. The way she licked her lips and swallowed showed his actions were getting the desired reaction. Encouraged, Sam reached out, took the tub, and refilled his spoon. He leaned forward and brushed his ice cream cooled lips against hers as he whispered, “Coming?”
Meg squeaked out, “Not yet,” then followed him as he disappeared through the house.
