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Thursday, March 7, 2013

Nobody Asked Me/Giveaway - Fictional Men Are Ruining Everything!



I read a lot of romance. Nearly everything I read its one form of romance or another. Even
the horror books have romance in them. 

Isn’t that what life is?

Aaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tension breaker, had to be done. Ok, seriously people. I am human. I’m a single mom. I’m a blogger. I’m a reader. I’m a romance reader. And these fictional leading men are seriously ruining the game for real life men.

Never once has a man I’ve loved anguished over me for as long as it takes. Never has a man given up everything to be with me, taken that giant leap of faith that almost assures his complete demise only to find out he always had it all. Never has a man made that grand gesture, that final play, that big speech, that special thing that will win me over forever. Never has.... If only he would, right? 

As it is asked in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: What happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted? Well, he lived happily ever after. 

In real life my dating life is much more bleak, when you compare it to the daring love lives of those we read about. The men I date don’t shift into a wolf or a ferocious jungle cat. They don’t drop fangs to taste the one drop of my blood that will ultimately change their life forever. They don’t battle the raging fires of hell to be by my side. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t bad - but they aren’t that special guy that makes my heart explode like every book boyfriend I've ever had does.

So here I am, I’m waiting for that guy. I’m assuming he will just come knock on my door, or I will bump into him at the grocery store or something. Won’t I? And when the “right one” comes along, will I be able to look past all of his obvious lack of Alpha Male Main Character Qualities? What if he doesn’t growl, doesn’t profess, “Mine”, doesn’t absolutely fall to pieces when I’m not around? What will happen? Will I pass him by?

Probably.

But at least I still have my “fictional” Alpha Males. And they are setting that bar awfully damn high.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not seriously complaining... at least, I don't think so.  I'm in love with so many of the leading men in my books, I couldn't give them up for anything.  But is it too much to ask that men in real life emulate every single aspect of the fictional men I love so much???  Hahaha, didn't think so :)

Oh, and simply because I forgot last week... Remember a couple weeks ago when I had blogger block and couldn't start this post?  Well, I did manage to write a poem about it.  Cause yes, dear Viriginia, I am that awesome. 

There once was a blogger from The D
Who started a feature called "Nobody Asked Me!"
An interesting editorial she wanted to write, 
But finding the words was certainly a fight!

With a huff and a puff she sat at her keyboard, 
But soon was distracted by television's zombie horde
And that was that for the night!

I know.  Awesome, right?  Try to contain your enthusiasm. Now for the giveaway!! After last week's awesome response about swag I gathered some very official data:  People Don't Always Want Bookmarks. So this week's giveaway has no bookmarks, trading cards, brochures, or post cards!!  It's pens (you will be writing a lot), magnets, stickers, tattoos, lip balm, a button, a calendar, a bracelet, some brush cleaner thingy (I feel like I should know what this is for), charms, a nail file... I think that's it?  Lots of awesome stuff!!!  So go on, enter!  This runs internationally, and I'll pick a winner on Wednesday :)




a Rafflecopter giveaway